Sexual pleasure is a vital part of humanity. Pleasure is power, a means to reclaim control over our sexual bodies, sexualities, and ourselves – through agency and autonomy. Addressing the pleasure gap, and the role of patriarchy, is important for achieving gender equality. It is crucial that all genders experience equal pleasure and that this principle is embedded within our social and cultural frameworks and narratives of sex. Shame, judgement, and violence are harmful to all. By encouraging environments rooted in love, where empathy, non-judgement, intimate, and nurturing relationships with ourselves and others are normalised, we can build more compassionate cultures. We need to create and embrace communities of care; this involves guidance, support, sharing, and vulnerability as foundational elements of our interactions. This also means caring for our own and each other’s sexual well-being.

Embodiment and emotions play a central role in pleasure. We need to learn to feel to heal. Acknowledging our own and our intergenerational traumas, our histories of pain and fear, and transforming our disconnection into connection, allows us to embrace pleasure without shame. Returning to our bodies reminds us that we are all worthy of pleasure. We therefore also need to pay attention to our arousal. We need to learn to listen to our bodies, identify what we desire, and embrace our sexual realities. This recognition empowers us to own our experiences, engage with our sensuality, and express our sexual desires. Safety is equally crucial. We must continue to practice safe sex and promote sexual health messages; this vital information saves lives. However, establishing environments that hold perpetrators accountable and ensure women’s safety from all forms of danger is also critical. We must establish “safe spaces” for people to be curious about pleasure, without repercussions. 

To fully embrace pleasure, we must also unlearn the haunting ideologies and sex-negative discourses that constrain us and our sexualities. We must learn new sex-positive discourses, ask for what we desire, set and communicate our boundaries, and negotiate consent effectively. Mutual respect is a fundamental form of both physical and verbal interaction. Respect must therefore transcend culturally gendered notions of respectability. Every being deserves respect; every body deserves respect; autonomy and consent are thus also crucial components. Finally, pleasure reminds us to explore and enjoy experiences – sexual and non-sexual. This means questioning the internal and external factors that constrain our bodies, sexualities, and lives; and exploring alternative ways of being, loving, and living. 

Pleasure matters because it encapsulates power, love, embodiment, arousal, safety, unlearning, respect, and exploration. These elements form the foundation of a more equitable society, where pleasure is recognised not as a privilege, but as a fundamental human right and an essential part of sexual well-being.